he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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