my mouth tastes like poor choices
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
