Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
