do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
