Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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