You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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