he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
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Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
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He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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