my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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