Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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