We're facebook friends in real life
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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