My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
