It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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