batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
