i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize