and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
