Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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