I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to calm my uterus...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
