Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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