Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
