Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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