Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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