dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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