So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
pop tarts are not kleenex
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
