I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just cropdusted the office
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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