I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
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they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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