Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
