Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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