He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize