It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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