i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
