I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize