I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
