Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
birth control should be required to get into college
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
