the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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