ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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