come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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