What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize