My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
