Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
