hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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