is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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