Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My life is pants optional.
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