Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
