She's JV to your varsity
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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