I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
