So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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