i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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