We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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