he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize