Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
