I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize