There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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