I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
