she's into porn, im staying here tonight
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
