It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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