he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize