At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
