Betty ford says i'm here all night
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
