Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish i was in the wii world.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
vagina is talking i cant
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
