her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
