i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
